Whisky and Curry don't go

In my mis-spent youth I worked for a few months in a Ghandian Community in India. Old Mahatma was pretty austere - so there was no drinking, no meat and no-smoking. After a few weeks I was invited by a couple of the local guys to a secret get-together where I was promised delicious meat curry, fine whisky and some cigarettes. Given that there was no electricity in this place, let alone TV, I jumped at the chance of a bit of entertainment.

Upon arrival I was handed a plate of goat curry that was about 95% bone and a cup filled to the brim of Bagpiper whisky. The curry was hotter than Hell's ovens and sent my mouth and throat into immediate spasm - I quickly reached for the only liquid within reach. The resulting gulp of Bagpiper whisky was like throwing petrol onto a fire. At that moment I truly understood the term "exquisite pain" as I transcended normal human uncomfort and entered a higher state of being. I think I actually passed out for while.

Which is a long preamble into the news that the Scottish Whisky Association (SWA) is thinking of taking India to the court of the World Trade Organisation over unfair trade practices.

Whatever is in the Bagpiper bottle, it is not whisky as defined by the SWA as "a cereals-based liquor aged over three years". The Indians are pissed off that they can't label their product as being whisky or Indian whisky.

They also aren't happy at letting the Scottish into their market to compete with their products. Scottish whisky in India is charged a tax of up to 525%

Whatever the outcome - just don't mix your whisky (of whatever nationality) with your vindaloo.