Tartan stooshie

The Army has stirred up a right strammash by putting the supply of kilts for its new Scottish super regiment out to tender.

Prudent fiscal policy says the army.

A chance for cheap Indian tartan makers to supply our troops says, er, the people who currently have the contract.

Given the ill feeling that the re-organisation of the Scottish regiments caused it's highly unlikely that the Army would stupid enough to use a non-Scottish supplier - or will they?!

Highland Games

February might sound like a mad time for a Highland Games - especially as Scotland shivers in this cold snap - but this one is in Arizona.

It's gonnae be mental.

Swinging Inverness

Swinging website - local swingers claims that Inverness is a hot-bed (or car park or whatever these guys use!) of swinging action. There are over 135 registred swingers in the Inverness area - a frightening thought indeed!

Link love - Ceilidh Club

I've no been, but the Ceilidh Club is meant to put on a mean shindig for all you cats in London who are anxious for some reeling action.

They also asked me to plug their book - 50 fun things to do in Edinburgh so I will...although that title is surely an oxymoron?

Keane song causes toothless man to run amok

I've always felt that I'd rather punch staples into my head than listen to the angst-ridden wailings of Coldplay, David Gray et al.

...and it looks like I'm not the only one!

CREDIT: Found this on Doctorvee's Blog

Does whisky made by Gaelic speakers taste different?

Iain Noble is a self confessed "racialist", who knows "one or two" black people...but doesn't "want them to settle and create ghettos in my patch of the country." He is a true citizen of the world - born in Berlin and educated in China, Brazil and England - which just goes to show that travel does not always broaden the mind.

Noble's company, 'A Smugglers Outlet by the Sound of Sleat', is looking to employ 20 people on Skye to produce some whisky. The wheeze is that Noble wants only to employ Gaelic speakers. The only reason for this seems to be Noble's tiny minded ideas about preserving his shortbread tin idea of the Highlands and Islands.

I say all non-gaelic speakers should boycott this whisky, and leave Noble to market to and profit from the Gaelic community he so loves. With only 60 000 gaelic speakers I doubt his business will last long.

Note: No prizes for spotting that this is yet another story of cultural nonsense from that vipers nest of nationalism - Sleat.

RELATED:
Gaylic nonsense
Shite in any language
Criogaid, Dinichean et al.

Even Weasels have musical taste

So picture the scene:

In your remote highland village is the holiday home of one of the most pompous and talentless music stars of his generation - the sort of person that is only about 30 seconds away from his next, "Do you know who I am?"

One Saturday night you and Chick get completely pished and decide to teach the absent prima donna a lesson. Chick perhaps goes too far when he lays a log in the guys bed, but, hey, that's Rock and Roll.

Sunday morning comes along, all Wee Free hell and damnation and hung over regrets. Sitting over a mid-afternoon reviver you and Chick envision police involvement, London lawyers and, when you remember the jobby, mediaeval retribution.

Then Chick smiles from over his pint, and says the magic words - Pine Marten!

Stop being a Shereen!

Farwell Shereen Nanjiani - she was fit (well, compared to Viv Lumsden), drank in the Horeshoe, and lent her name to a great bit of Glasgow rhyming slang.

One Scotland

There is a low-level and casual racism in Scotland that the Scots themselves seem to be unaware of (or worse ignore) but which I find deeply depressing. While watching the Old Firm game this weekend I overheard a comment about Dion Dublin's skin colour which just wouldnd't have been said in London.

During the same match we were bombarded by TV adverts from the Scottish Executive about One Scotland - their anti-racism campaign. Normally the amount of money that the Scottish Executive spends on advertising infuriates me - I think the worst one I saw was telling punters how to make a cup of tea! In this case however I have to say that I'm behind the initiatve 100% Let's hope more people take note.

Scottish Ramble in Minnesota

Hoots mon - if you are in or near St Paul in Minnesota then get yersel down the Landmark center for the Scottish Ramble!

The seven wonders of Scotland

The Scotsman fills up it pages with another useless list - with the added wheeze of getting celebs to champion each nomination. The journo who came up with this will be sitting on his fat arse in some pub feeling well pleased with himself!

Anyway chose between some hills and glens, tartan, whisky, ship building, routemaster buses, spangles, blah blah blah.

It might stop you "wondering" about the pitiful state of Scottish health or any other important issue.

A right Fish Wife

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Libby Woodhatch.

Remember, I scour the world's media for Scottish pish like this so you don't have to!

Skye - capital or lurve (and rain)

Back from Skye, where unsurisingly it pished it down for the entire time. Didn't get to stay for Valentine's day - which was a shame as The Herald proclaimed that Skye was one of the top ten places in which to fall in love:

"Come nightfall take a cosy blanket...then sit outdoors and let the heavens take on the entertainment with a dazzling display of stars"

No sane person would suggest this, if it's not pishing it down, or Baltic then the midges will get you. Sounds like the reporter had a few too many Taliskers, fell in a gutter on their way home and then had to make some stuff up come deadline!

Gaylic nonsense

Unsurprisingly, Gaelic film mogul, Christopher Young (see below) lives on Skye which is fast emerging as a hotbed of Gaelic activism.

Not content with inflicting Runrig on the world some Skye residents want to inflict exclusively Gaelic education on their children.

Co-incidentally I am off to Skye for a long weekend. I'm going to wind up the locals about this "Gay-lic" nonsense all weekend!

Celluloid dreams

Christopher Young has a dream - a feature length movie in Gaelic. The fact that the only other Gaelic movie ever made bombed has not dimmed this dream - poor sap! Or rather, his backers are poor saps! And, er, that will be the BBC....which means that you and I are funding it...Shit, if ever there was a reason to not to pay your license fee.

I love they way that the herald refers to Chrisopher as Scotland's "most experienced film producer" - not good, just experienced!

Things you canny do in Glasgow - part 5 in an ongoing series

I was in Glasgow last weekend where a local insisted that the Glasgow glass ban was not going ahead. I've searched for evidence of this but can't find any - perhaps someone can send us the info: digbeth@gmail.com

However, while one piece of unnecessarily intrusive legislation fades another will surely be not far behind it!

Step forward Jim Fletcher, the leader of East Renfrewshire Council, who wants to pilot a smoking ban in Rouken Glen Park in Giffnock.

Luckily, I'm a step ahead of the authorities on this one as Rouken Glen Park is where I had some of my first illicit fags as a teenager. There is a place known locally as The Cave where not even the most rabid Parky is likely to find you. If you’re really lucky you may even find my stash of porno mags from 1983!

RELATED:
Nanny state bans glass from pubs
More fines from Glasgow council

Inclement weather II

I'm back baby!

Come to Banff where it's pishing it down - may not sound like the best tourist slogan of all time but some people are into that sort of thing!