Serpentarium tragedy

As you drive into Broadford on the Isle of Skye there is a big sign proclaiming "Slow Children". Several islanders claim that is a statement rather than a warning.

The only reason that you'd want to visit this distinctly un-picturesque seaside town is the Serpentarium - so it's with great sadness that I bring you news of a fatal fire at this world-famous attraction. Around 200 snakes and reptiles have been lost in a fire at the centre's breeding room. Luckily it didn't affect the Serpentarium itself which is still open for business.

Can't remember if any of the snakes at the Serpentarium were venomous or not? I know some of the volunteer firefighters on Skye so I'll try and find out just how they felt about being asked to go into a building filled with 200 snakes.

Monday Scottish news roundup

Seems that every weekend paper I picked up had it in for the Barnett formula - even Barnett's against it.

Strammash! Is the best word to describe the clash of the Isle of Colonsay and the Caravan Club - check out how many comments this Scotsman article has raised! Rumours are that Jeremy Clarkson will move there on Wednesday.

Scots have been burning English flags - although spontaneous combustion as a result of all the hot air being blown out about Wayne Rooney has not been ruled out as the cause.

A group of Indonesian aid-workers have turned up in Scotland to tackle poverty in Maryhill and Milton. Good luck!

Insuring against Christ's coming

What is it about punters in Inverness? If they are not swinging, they're taking out insurance against immaculate conception.

It costs a lot to bring up the son of God mind...

Cuckoo banned

Click above to play the latest Irn Bru 32 ad which has just been banned - probably what Irn Bru wanted!

I'll shush yoo, ya tweedy old crow!...

EDIT: I see that the British Board of Film Classification is wanting to rate web videos like this one. So enjoy it before it gets an 18 classification or worse still is banned !

Lazy PR

Is it just me, or have you heard this Scottish accent story about 50 times before?

Glass Ban Defeated

One in the eye for the for Gordon MacDairmid and his Soviet Glasgow Licensing Board...but how much public money have they wasted over this nonsense already?

Your choice for Scottish Anthem

The Royal Scottish National Orchestra are running a marketing campaign which is letting folk choose their favourite Scottish national anthem (if it doesnae play it's their fault no mines).

Of course, no-one's going to play a blind bit of notice to the result and we'll be stuck with the dirge that we've got, but it's a bit of fun. It's also a bit disappointing that the lyrics are all sung in that back of throat, plummy, operatic way which means hearing the words is impossible. Which is a shame cause otherwise we might learn that "na na na na na na na na" are not the words to Scotland the Brave after all!

Hark when the night is fallin
Hear! Hear the pipes are calling,
Loudly and proudly calling,
Down thro' the glen.
There where the hills are sleeping,
Now feel the blood a-leaping,
High as the spirits of the old Highland men.

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T&T match report

First impressions of the Rob Roy were not promising - it was stuffed full of English fans. 4 years ago when we watched the Tartan Argies in the William Wallace (sadly no longer) there was only a few England fans. There were however quite a few Trinidad and Tobago fans in the place, and as the match went on... and the pints were sunk we got more vocal. Disconcertingly there was a TV camera man there - from STV so he said - and as the Jay Man and I are quite tall we had this camera following our every move for 90 minutes. If anyone saw any coverage of this then let me know.

Trinidad and Tobago took the whole Scottish thing a bit far, bravely hanging on for 83 minutes, giving England a few scares, making us believe they could do it, but then ultimately failing at the final hurdle. As for England, well forests of newsprint will have been wasted on them since Thursday so I'll keep my comment to the fact that Crouch's missed volley will keep me amused for years to come.

A good day out and we met some good guys - now does anyone know any good Swedish vodka bars?

Come on Scotland

If you are in London, I will see you down the William Wallace.

Lord of Lerwick

Arsonist Sakchai Makao is threatened with deportation from the Shetland Islands as, despite the fact that he's lived there since he was 10 (for 13 years), he is classified as a 'foreign criminal' and therefore is caught up in that Home office strammash.

There's a very large campaign on the island to fight this move. Quite right I say, the truly Scottish thing to do would be to give him a peerage.

World Cup update

Seem to be stuck on a World Cup theme at the moment...but is anything else worthwhile happening?

This article about the large number of Poles now living in Scotland perhaps explains why they did so shite in their opening game! They've obviously picked up one Scottish habit too many.

Trinidad and Tobago's standing took a bit of knock in Sunday's Panorama programme when their FIFA representative Jack Warner turned out to be, well... a corrupt cunt is I think the best way to describe him. Still this doesn't seem to have dented the Tartan Army who have been piling the cash on bets that Scotland will score against England.

and finally a follow up on Alan Cairncross who had helped restore national pride - we might be crap at playing football but at least we had the best groundsman at the World Cup. Well even this claim to fame is under attack as various coaches, players and pundits have been queuing up to attack the quality of the World Cup grass. Alan's surface apparently has some discoloured bits!

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Terrorism recruitment drive hits rock bottom

Meet James Hoggan - the evil mastermind behind the Scottish Freedom Force - thankfully now banged up. I think we can all sleep sounder knowing that Professor Chaos is not plotting further misdeed!

Scotland, World Cup Winners 1978 - if only!

Shoulda, Woulda...hmm, Coulda?

As if a weekend of World Cup football, minus the Tartan Army, was not painful enough - the Sunday Telegraph has published this photograph of a 9p stamp, prepared by the Royal Mail to celebrate should Scotland have won the World Cup in Argentina.

...some of the background celebrations looks a bit mincing. More Billy Elliot that Ally's Army!

At last - Trinidad and Tobago official shirts

From Soccer Scene near Covent Garden in London. They had some delivered today and reckoned that they "would fly out the door."

Catholic Church warns that not supporting England could be a sin

With so much hype surrounding the World Cup it was only a matter of time before God got involved.

Catholic theologian Father William McFadden has warned Scottish football fans to consider their motivation for not supporting England in the World Cup. The wrong motivation could result in God giving you a red card.

“If we have an automatic anti-relationship with someone simply because they are English, then that is anti-Christian,” warns Father McFadden.

I reckon we're OK supporting T&T though, everyone knows that God is a Marvin Andrews fan!

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Nice Barnett!

Ken Livingston has got the nationalists foaming at the mouth! Commenting
on the Crossrail project Ken said that it was required "to keep London's
economy ticking over so that we can continue to pay for the Scottish to
live the lifestyle to which they are accustomed."

Given that Ken is clearly one of the most humourless wonks to tread the
planet his defence that this was a "light-hearted joke" may be hard to
believe, but it's probably true.

This has not stopped the SNP going into full Braveheart mode! But Ken is
not the only one to be accused of being anti-Scottish. Alex Salmond has
also been laying into Gordon Brown for turning English!

Red Ken? Alex Salmond? Have I slipped into some kind of time warp??

Today's World Cup Nonsense

Peter Wishart MP for Perth has tabled a House of Commons motion wishing "the very best to the Trinidad and Tobago team in the World Cup". We’re all having a laugh about the T&T thing but this Wishart character just sounds like a nationalist plamf.

Matalan have banned England World Cup merchandise from their Scottish stores.

Meanwhile, T&T have actually won a game…

…and there was a great profile of Marvin Andrews in last night’s London Evening Standard, I’m trying to track down a web version (anyone?). He came across as a genuinely decent and eloquent voice of reason in a game full of spoilt dimwits.

Tartan Army Bingo

A commentator bingo card from the Crack of Dawn Tartan Army lads in Aberdeen.

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Weekend in the company of 400 whiskies

Just had a Bavarian weekend in the company of over 400 malts, allegedly the largest collection in Germany. Would have liked to have spent an evening working my way through the list but the mark up was truly horendous - I worked it out as 528% on a bottle of Strathisla. No idea if this was the hotel or Germany taxes, but it put a serious session beyond my pocket.

...oh and the hotel also had a spa, fine restuarant and beautiful alpine setting.

Irn-Bru and Scotland World Cup ads

Great acting!

So here's the Irn Bru and Jason Scotland World Cup adverts. I've found 3 ads so far, all with the same predicatable theme! Here are the direct You Tube links:
Wee Boy
Team Bus
Team Photo

Is Google promoting racism?

One of the news sources that I use for this Blog is Google News - it has some nice search and RSS features that make monitoring a topic easy.

The famously secretive Google do not reveal how they decide what sites to include in Google News - punters can recommend sources but how sites make the cut is unknown. I have several friends and contacts in the media world who run very good and legitimate news sites who are very frustrated that Google News will not index their sites - so however they make their choices they are clearly very selective.

A few months ago one of my Google News feeds threw up a link to the British National Party. Let's not beat about the bush here - the BNP is not a legitimate source of news it's a racist political party. I used Google's feedback forms to tell them this, but unsurprisingly got no response.

Today I have again come across a link from Google News to the BNP.

Google News points out that it chooses news "without regard to political viewpoint or ideology". It also allegedly lives by the moto "Do no evil". The BNP are not a news source and they are demonstrably evil - so why the fuck do Google continue to lend them legitimacy by linking to their drivel?

I've again informed Google of inappropriate nature of BNP links ...but have also decided to post this item so that others are at least aware of this shit.

EDIT:
I guess I should have searched Google News before I ranted off!
I just came across this Press Gazette article where the BNP issue is mentioned.
The register have also covered this issue in 2004 - so I guess that means that Google just don't give a shit.

Update: Glasgow Glass Ban

At last - someone with some cohones!

The Scottish Beer & Pub Association (SBPA) is taking legal action against the Glasgow glass ban - claiming that the Glasgow Licensing Board is acting without authority under the Licensing (Scotland) Act 1976.

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